Monday Magic: Q!

Aloha! This week is a little different, because I have only one word for Q. Quotations! It’s impossible for me to compile a list of my favorite quotes, because there are so many great ones. One of my favs is the Tongan Pirate Zombies one, which already has its own page here at OHH. So here are just some random ones that I like, from throughout all the seasons. Some are funny, some are poignant. All have pictures included, of course.


1×02 Ohana (Family)
Danny: Where you going?
Steve: We’re going to Roland’s house. These guys are thieves, I want to know what they’re after.
Danny (points off the roof): That way, you’re going?
Steve (turns around towards stairs): Shut up.

1×07 Ho’apono (Accept)
Danny: Let’s say I am you, and you are the bad guy here. I would know that all the ways onto the ship are visible somehow. So, how would you outsmart yourself and get yourself onto that ship without yourself seeing yourself?
Steve: Okay, was that an actual attempt at a question, or were you just kind of throwing words at each other and hoping they made sense?

1×10 Heihei (Race)
Danny: Oh, I get it! ‘Steve the Science Guy’ is back.

1×14 He Kane Hewa’ole (An Innocent Man)
Chin: You did pass the HPD test for pursuit driving, right?
Kono: What test?

1×23 Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau (Until the End is Near)
Steve: Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t there a car attached to you?
Kaye: Oh? Weird.

1×24 Oia’i’o (Trust)
Danny: All of those that think that is a certifiably demented idea please raise your hand (points at Jenna) Please raise your hand!
Jenna: I’m new. I didn’t think I got a vote.
Steve McGarrett: You don’t get a vote. And the rest of you are forgetting that the Five-0 is not a democracy, it is a benevolent dictatorship. Got it?

2×03 Kame’e (The Hero)
Steve: Thing is, Joe, you’re not a ‘hang loose, aloha, fun in the sun’ kind of guy.
Joe: They let you stay.

2×07 Ka Iwi Kapu (Sacred Bones)
Chin: This is a very large mattress. What do you plan on doing on this very large mattress?

2×08 Lapa’au (Healing)
Steve: What are we watching? Enemy Mine? That’s awesome, I feel like I’m in a time machine! A tiny little badly decorated time machine.
Danny: I like this movie. I think it’s a classic.

2×10 Ki’ilua (Deceiver)
Joe: In the unlikely event that we pull this off, we could be charged with espionage, face federal prosecution, and prison time for what we are about to do. That is, of course, if any of us make it back. So if anyone wants to back out, now’s the time. No shame in it. Go with God and wish us luck.
–Long pause–
Joe: All right, that settles it then. We come back with Steve, or we don’t come back.

2×18 Lekio (Radio)
Tony: I always have a better idea. Give me a phone.
Danny: Why?
Tony: I want to schedule a pedicure. Because I know a guy… give me the phone.
Danny: Oh, he’s knows a guy.

2×19 Kalele (Faith)
Steve: You’re wrong. If somebody’s on the wave first, they own the wave.
Danny: You can’t own a wave, certainly not because you can paddle fast than that next guy. That’s number 1, and number 2, I clearly told the guy I was coming down on his left. I said, ‘Hey, buddy, I’m on the wave!’
Steve: It’s the Pacific Ocean, Danny, it’s not a bike path.
Danny: I think the same rules should apply for any thoroughfare.

2×23 Ua Hala

Steve: Mom?

3×1 Mother’s Day
Danny: You know for a woman who died in a car bomb 20 years ago, you look remarkably put together.

3×3: Lana I Ka Maona
Steve: Oh, man, that’s a tiger shark.
Danny: Tiger shark, huh? No big deal then? Have you seen shark week? I don’t want to be on shark week. That thing gets near you, you punch it in the nose. Trust me.

3×5: Mohai
Cath: Are you sure your mom’s not coming home?

3×6: I Ka Wa Mamua
Steve: I heard you went dress shopping. Is there something I should know?

I just hope you got something with a nice plunging neckline so you can show off that Chewbacca Chest.

3×12: Kapu (Forbidden)
Eric: Dude, why do you have so much ranch dressing?
Bullwinkle: Uh, because it’s DELICIOUS?

3×16: Kekoa (Warrior)
Mick: You told me to keep an eye on your mother.
Steve: An eye. Not a hand or any other part of your body. She’s my mother!

3×17: Pa’ani (The Game)
Steve: If his legs could move as fast as his mouth, he could play in the NFL.

3×21: Imi loko ka ‘uhane (Seek Within One’s Soul)
Chin Ho (to Savannah the talk show host): Better call your insurance agent from the car.
Kono: Tell him you want full coverage.
Savannah: You’re kidding, right? They’re kidding, right?

3×24: Aloha, Malama Pono (Farewell and Take Care)
Steve: Did you just hang up on the CIA?
Danny: No, I hung up on a schmuck…a gigantic schmuck.

Another of my all-time favorites isn’t really a quotation at all, because there were no words involved. It was simply a gesture. (big thanks to ESS [@H50BAMF]) for making us a gif!)

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23 thoughts on “Monday Magic: Q!

  1. Great job! There are so many great quotes there isn’t enough space to include them all!! But you ended with my favorite of all favorites! Danny’s gesture sums up the feel of the entire show!!

  2. I love the Q, so many brilliant quotes and memories! H50 is just such a great show, I love it more and more! Danno and his air-heart, love LOVE LOVE!
    And that green shirt in 2.03, omg I love it so much! (I had such a great day and come home and see this, it’s just love, that’s my WORD today 🙂 )!!!
    They all need each other to make such a great show, I love that OHANA!
    Thanks!

  3. OMG, Jenna’s “oh weird!” I love that!!
    And Bullwinkle with the Ranch dressing…. classic!! 😀

    It just occurred to me that Steve’s “tiny little badly decorated time machine” may be a clue that he’s a fan of Doctor Who. Yeah, I’m going with that!!

    This made me so happyyyyyyyyy…….

  4. Sorry I’m late coming back to comment! but here goes:

    The aquaman episode: Funny Danny and shirtless Steve…two of my favorite things and they should both happen more often!

    Jenna Kaye’s “oh weird’ will never NOT be hilarious.

    Steve and Joe “they let YOU stay didn’t they?” the green shirt and Steve’s face. A winning combo!! Oh wait this was about a quote, yes the quote too. hehe.

    “We come back with Steve or we don’t come back.” F/CK YEAH!! Get our boy!

    “Badly decorated time machine” <<–:LOVE IT!!! even if spoken by someone who lives in his parents old house with the same curtains and decorations… lol.

    Was there a quote on that surfing scene? I can't remember…

    Mom? – Steve, your face. Just stop it. (no don't)

    Was there a quote in the dinghy scene? Huh.

    "Are you sure you're momma's not coming home?" – LOL!! high school Steve and Cath FTW!!! complete with Chucky movie and lame mooooves.

    CHEWBACCA CHEST!!! LMAO!!

    Bullwinkle "Uh, because it's DELICIOUS.' <<–true dat!

    Protective l'il Steve of his grown up Mommy. LOL!! Uh, Steve, I think she's done this before. #justsayin

    AIRHEARTS!! AIRHEARTS to this post, and to you, my friend!

  5. Do you know how many times I’ve thought this?????
    “even if spoken by someone who lives in his parents old house with the same curtains and decorations… lol.”

    “”Are you sure you’re momma’s not coming home?” – LOL!! high school Steve and Cath FTW!!! complete with Chucky movie and lame mooooves”
    Cath has some great lines and her own sense of humor. I wish she’d get more notice for that, instead of so much controversy over ridiculousness.

    Thank-Q so much!!!!

  6. Ahhh, the way Steve Quietly stalks around hunting criminals, Quarrels with them until they are Quashed, and then Quizzes them for the truth. It makes me Quake in my boots, my heart Quicken and other *cough* parts of me Quiver!! 😀

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